CARVSMARK

Okay, is it just me, or do we all have a weird obsession with saying, “Forget I said that!” Like, seriously, what are we expecting here? Do we think everyone’s just going to hit Ctrl+Z on their memory and poof! It’s gone? No way. Once it’s out there, it’s in there forever, like a rogue email you can’t unsend or a random song lyric you’ll now hum forever. Thanks for that.

Case in point: Just this morning, someone started a conversation with me all hyped up. “Oh, I’ve got a story for you! It’s so good!” Naturally, I’m intrigued. I’m leaning in like we’re about to unlock some deep, juicy tea. So I ask, “Okay, what’s it about?” And what do they do? They drop this gem: “Well, I can’t actually tell you yet.

“Excuse me, WHAT?! Why would you even bring it up then? Is this some new form of psychological warfare? Now I’m stuck in suspense, spiraling for the rest of the day. It’s like dangling a slice of triple-chocolate cake in front of someone and then snatching it back while whispering, “Oh, forget I mentioned dessert.” Forget? Oh, no. There is no forgetting. Now I’m sitting here wondering what’s so top-secret it can’t be revealed yet. Are we talking national security? Is it about me? Am I in some sort of Netflix thriller that nobody told me I’m starring in?

This whole “forget I said that” shtick is the emotional equivalent of telling someone, “Hey, you won the lottery! But I’ll tell you later how much.” Then you find out it’s $3 from a scratch-off.

Emotional rollercoaster much? Thanks for the whiplash, Karen.

And why do we do this to each other? Are we all just agents of chaos in disguise? Are we that bored? Are we auditioning for some reality TV show where the currency is pure drama and suspense? I’m going to need some answers, stat.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for building up excitement. I mean, anticipation is basically my middle name. In this messy, chaotic world, we need all the little joys we can get. But can we please make it complete excitement? Like, don’t give me the trailer and then cancel the movie.

That’s just cruel. It’s like revving the engine of a car only to leave it parked. Pointless.

Maddening. Someone’s getting side-eyed.

So here’s my heartfelt plea: Let’s make a pact as a society. If you’re going to bring something up, commit to it. Follow through. Don’t leave me dangling in suspense with a half-told story and a cheeky “Forget I said anything.” My brain is already a crowded storage unit of random facts and nonsense I can’t get rid of. Like, I still know all the words to the 80s cereal jingles, but I can’t remember where I left my keys five minutes ago. Don’t add your unfinished anecdotes to the clutter.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for building up excitement. I mean, anticipation is basically my middle name. In this messy, chaotic world, we need all the little joys we can get. But can we please make it complete excitement? Like, don’t give me the trailer and then cancel the movie.

That’s just cruel. It’s like revving the engine of a car only to leave it parked. Pointless.

Maddening. Someone’s getting side-eyed.

So here’s my heartfelt plea: Let’s make a pact as a society. If you’re going to bring something up, commit to it. Follow through. Don’t leave me dangling in suspense with a half-told story and a cheeky “Forget I said anything.” My brain is already a crowded storage unit of random facts and nonsense I can’t get rid of. Like, I still know all the words to the 80s cereal jingles, but I can’t remember where I left my keys five minutes ago. Don’t add your unfinished anecdotes to the clutter.

So next time you’re tempted to drop a half-story and back out, just don’t. Either spill the tea or zip it up. And if you choose the latter, for the love of all things holy, don’t say, “Forget I said that.” Because I won’t. I can’t. None of us can. And now we’re all stuck in this bizarre loop of suspense and confusion.

Thanks for that.Alright, rant over. Mic has officially been dropped. Someone grab me a cupcake.

I’ve earned it.